Hey friend, what I've got here is a breakthrough, the likes of which have never been seen!  And it's for sale, for cheap!$b$bYou see, I got tired of spending money in taverns looking for the perfect person.  So I made these goggles and now EVERYONE looks like pure perfection.  I mean you CAN'T go wrong with these puppies!$b$bSo, you wanna try these out, help pad my pockets a bit?  Since you look soo good, I'll even give you a discount!